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Disability Arts Online

Shame?! / 10 January 2014

Months have gone by and I still feel the same
unable to cope so start feeling the shame.
It's all just repeating, it never slows down
as I start to flounder, my mind starts to drown.
I just sit here twitching or eat till I'm fat
I feel like a pet, you know, a fat pampered cat.

I want to have purpose and meaning in life
not only a husband, great kids and a wife
who is so understanding, supports me through hell
leads me out of the place that's my own little cell.
But I want something more, to do something worth while
to leave my mark in this world, go that full extra mile.
Not be seen as this failure, just chasing my tales
while the real me stays hidden, obscured behind veils
of thick clouds of medicine that's making me slow
my thoughts stuck in their ruts with no new way to go.