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Not taking my meds ... / 12 April 2013

I spent a week in a slumber, becoming just a mumbler. Sat staring at the floor; couldn't make it through the door.
It was my choice to stop taking my meds, to move forward and poke out my badgered heads. That said. it wasn't my best move yet. I got hyper aggressive and people I upset ... and now regret.

Found myself turning back into a monster, a Double Mental Bonkster. Only realizing that after the event, when my emotions took over and this aggression has again been spent. I must stop and think well before I start again to vent.

My mood can flip over from nice to ugly ... to nice ... and fugly. I can't be stopped. It happens when I don't take my pills, and my head starts to spill. It's a darkness that takes over and makes me mad. I'm angry at everyone, and that makes me bad ... and sad.

So that's what happens when I don't take my meds, my bi-polar condition unravels the threads. I lose all the ground I've been desperate to make, and I can't find the hacksaw that was baked in the cake. Memories linger and I feel them still, my anger contained ... handcuffed to the old bill!