Misunderstood? / 22 February 2013
Today I jumped up and made for the bathroom, got myself dressed and gave out a sparkle. My smile will travel, it's massive and bright, it's starting to hurt as it makes my face tight. 'Wreck it Ralph' is the one we decide, the kids and myself, it's the film we've not tried. He's a lot like me in many ways, a big guy who wants to be good, but is often simply misunderstood.
I've got a big heart and I do try to help, but sometimes it's wrong and people just yelp! I crave to be liked and I try and impress, they think that I'm strong but I'm in deep distress. Helping others can often help me get by ... I enjoy being helpfull it gives me a high. And being active by day helps me sleep well at night, the pills are OK but don't give me insight, to what's actually wrong, with me ... not something to solve over a nice pot of tea!
I've managed to learn a few ways how to cope, not an answer as such, like the time I smoked dope. See, drugs and me just don't mix as it triggers psychosis and then my mind's playing tricks. DON'T TOUCH DRUGS is the message I'd share, especially you youngsters, surviving out there.
I've been through the medicines they put on the list, for people, they say, who've got my brain twist! None of them work or give any answers, they're there to sedate just like big sticking plasters, helping forget who you really are ... but take them you must, as without them you'll bust!
Triggers are key, watching what's up with me, and with care plan in place, which they tell me is free. The nurses can come and have me detained, just with one simple phone call from an 'adult' who claims, Bonk's having a moment so just take him away, to a nice place of safety where he cannot stray. But when you're inside, doors just open one way, and the others like you with their eyes all gone grey, from the pills they give out when you enter ... forgotten again ... who am I, where am I? What's the DAY???
So be carefull my friends as you step out each day, from your house, as your actions might say, I am dangerous ... and they'll lock you away! ;) x
Bonk Bi-Polar 22nd February 2013
Keywords: bipolar,medication,mental health,psychiatric medication,psychosis