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My name's Bonk and I love to write, when my brain hurts and gets too tight! I am bi-polar please don't be scared… don't run… just listen, as I get prepared. Open your eyes… I hope you enjoy my thoughts. And so I'll begin with a poem or some daily reports.

Tit for tat

12 January 2014

Blog

tit for tat

Fat cat
glossy rat
stamp them out
baseball bat
crack crack
break their back
now's the time
tit for tat!

Comments: 0

Shame?!

10 January 2014

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A fat pampered cat

Months have gone by and I still feel the same unable to cope so start feeling the shame. It's all just repeating, it never slows down as I start to flounder, my mind starts to drown. I just sit here twitching or eat till I'm fat I feel like a pet, you know, a fat pampered cat. I want to have purpose and meaning in life not only a husband, great kids and a wife who is so understanding, supports me through hell leads me out of the place that's my own little cell. But I want something...

Comments: 5

The rat and the black bowler hat

10 January 2014

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Black rat with a bowler hat

fat cat drinking gold top from a black bowler hat when seen from the side it's just really a rat who's leaving the ship which is starting to sink and he's stripping the profits, they're gone in a blink of an eye, though not seeing and turning quite blind to the fact that it's leaving us all in a bind All those safety net systems that catch all that fall he's now eaten away and it's part of his haul Now he's eating the people, the poor and the sick in fact all of...

Comments: 1

My words as my weapon

6 January 2014

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Bonk's sword

So many ideas bubbling too near the edge too many thoughts toppling over the ledge Back with a new mood and differing style I'm gonna open my soul, trying this for a while A tool of mass words, of destruction, take note I'm here with a vengeance, protaganists to smote with my words as my weapon, my thoughts form the point I'll just stab at injustice, those that fall I'll annoint. I'll get right in their faces and stand up for what's right Striking out at the grey suits...

Comments: 2

Dear Sun newspaper...

7 October 2013

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Bonk with axe in his back

Mental health survivors are at an all time low, you're using us as targets, just to have a go.   You're using us as scapegoats, whereas we're the ones in need, You're labelling us as murderers, the frenzy so to feed.   You don't know us at all, yet you print these viscious tales,   your readers form opinions based upon your need for sales. As people with these issues, we're more scared than you think, more likely just to hurt ourselves when pushed towards...

Comments: 9

Bonk reads his poem at the London Atos demo

1 October 2013

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Bonk at Atos demo

David Cameron, you should be aware, as your cuts take affect, and we're pushed to despair ... 'cause the route you have taken is not well planned. Are you ready for the blood that'll cover your hands? Then you'll see as you take your actions, it'll become quite clear that you've not done your fractions! Risk Assessments I doubt have been done, just a noose round our necks that your cuts have hung. So ... gather your Tories and tell them this, your scaring us all, not...

Comments: 0

Don't judge

9 July 2013

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Bonk on finger

Just listening to us can help unload some clutter. You will often be surprised by your quiet local nutter.

But don't judge us all by the way we may look. When it comes to fashion, we just don't give a fuck!

Comments: 0

Crazy?!

24 June 2013

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Make you stay

It's not a craze we're following, this is the way we are.
Living on the edge of reason, seeking our own star.
Be careful when you talk to us, be careful what you say.
Don't try and get inside our heads, in case we make you stay!

Comments: 0

Dispossessed

21 June 2013

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war image

Keep your young ones close and tight, or they'll be sent away to fight. Our boys and girls sent off to war, no answer when we ask "what for?" Then when they're spent, they send them home, without their limbs, cut to the bone. And some, their minds like shattered glass, run fractured images of horrors past. Once used, abused, now mad as hatter, our boys and girls no longer matter. They join the ranks of those they say, are scrounging all the funds we pay. No legs to walk, no...

Comments: 0

Bedroom tax

6 June 2013

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Family home split apart

Upon a box she cries with heart, "My world you're smashing it apart. I've given birth within these walls, watched children grow, and run through halls from room to room, beneath this roof, our happiness was living proof that though they felt the urge to roam, they all return to this, their home. "This garden where we've scattered ash of my dear mum, an aunt that passed. The roses that we've planted here, in memory of our own, so dear. "And now you say that I must...

Comments: 1

Caught in a rut

23 May 2013

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Bonk in a glass

I've got lost again, caught in a rut! Those around me trying hard to help me make the cut. I'm stuck in the bubble, away from time itself, the hairs on my chin grow quicker in the blink of an eye the sun goes up and then goes down, leaving me again for another day with a blank frown. I'm not in pain you see and I'm not upset, I just can't climb out of this mood. It's like being in a spider trapped in a glass, you can see others outside moving around, but to you it's...

Comments: 2

Gateway

19 May 2013

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My poems provide a gateway for me to have my say, to share with all those others, to keep strange thoughts at bay. Inviting other nutters to join me if they will, to sing our song of difference, the music never still but winding out in spirals, expressing all we are, that being mad's a journey in a psychedelic car. Its easy to forget that there are others just like me, and the words that I keep writing can help them all to see that they're not alone and struggling, that they're not...

Comments: 1

Gardening time

19 April 2013

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I'm feeling alive and no more on the shelf, not dealing with life, not aware of my health. I've stopped taking my meds and I've started to climb, and my mind has come back, it allows me to rhyme. The voices are there but I learn to ignore, not getting involved or attempting to store. Distraction's the key, planting new seeds that grow, nurturing my health in my garden I sow. Pulling weeds from the bed, adding water and sun, growing colour and life ... a small flower's...

Comments: 2

Not taking my meds ...

12 April 2013

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I spent a week in a slumber, becoming just a mumbler. Sat staring at the floor; couldn't make it through the door. It was my choice to stop taking my meds, to move forward and poke out my badgered heads. That said. it wasn't my best move yet. I got hyper aggressive and people I upset ... and now regret. Found myself turning back into a monster, a Double Mental Bonkster. Only realizing that after the event, when my emotions took over and this aggression has again been spent. I must stop...

Comments: 5

More sedation ...

21 March 2013

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Bonk in a hypo

When you get above your station, you start to look at more sedation ... I tell you, I know the mental health system better than most. And I can confirm that it feels like a second class NHS when you're in there as a patient. Staff speak to you as if you're a child, and if you dare answer back, then they will often punish you by ignoring you for the rest of the day. They rarely believe anything you say, and ironically the only time that you do get any attention from them is when you...

Comments: 0

Hallucinations

17 March 2013

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trick of the light?

I remember a time I was in Dartford Unit, floating about in the corridors, late on my first night. I looked down the dark corridor from the nurses station where I'd been annoying a young nurse who was trying to read her book. I'd interupt her every few moments; well, fair play, they wouldn't let me go home! So, this dark corridor, doors either side with patients enjoying their medicated sleep. I looked towards the glass fire door at the very end and saw an old man with a stick, the...

Comments: 1

Up and down

17 March 2013

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Up and down

Remember ... mood swings can go up, as well as down!

Comments: 0

At the gates

11 March 2013

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Funny Farm gates

It's easy to smile when life feels so good, when I'm feeling so positive and out of the woods. But when mood starts to swing and I'm down on my knees, forgetting the answers, my mind starts to tease. And I cannot remember just how to regain, those feelings of happiness, removed far from pain. Remembering those who can help you keep calm, and how they can help you stay safe, far from harm. They're there but are hidden, I've put them away, when I go into darkness, nothing...

Comments: 0

Bonding

9 March 2013

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Happy sun

Today was refreshing, the sun was alight, my mood opened up and my day did ignite. I opened the windows and let in the air, filling the room with the sun's magic glare. I ventured outside and filled up my lungs, and started to plan, no more speaking in tongues. People alive, and smiling their way, time just to talk and exchanging good day. Bonding with children, and especially my son, becoming so close we are thinking as one. We discuss life and challenges, find where to begin, finding...

Comments: 0

D.A.N.G.E.R

7 March 2013

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Red warning triangle

A clear and present DANGER. Danger Mr Cameron, you should be aware, as your cuts take affect, and push us to dispair. And the route you have opened is not well planned. Are you prepared for the blood that'll cover your hands? Not bothered are you; as you make up the numbers, picking on the sick and disabled to cover up your blunders? Gather your Tories and tell them this, your scaring us all, not just taking the piss. Either way when you take your actions, it'll soon be obvious that...

Comments: 2

Masquerade

4 March 2013

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Bonk in a mask

Decide what I want, then I change again, too many different things, not one skill to retain. A jack of all trades, master of none, hundreds of ideas flow through, then are gone. Ebbing and flowing unable to swim, the cold dark water seeps into my skin. I want to be a genius but am more a buffoon, too stupid by half to dance to that tune. Trying hard to be perfect because it feels right, can't attain my ideals so it's all smashed in spite. There's a demon in there I think can I...

Comments: 0

Not me in the mirror

1 March 2013

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Mirror

I'm feeling really down today, I could just up and walk away; the drugs just make me waste the day. I felt fine years ago I think, but all that changed inside a blink. I’m floating then I start to sink, do I think too much or just think I think? Am I me and does anyone care, if I even breath their air, or are they just all saying yeah, then forgetting I was ever there? Much of today is wasted again, my watered down life is full of pain, mentally and physically I take the strain, of a...

Comments: 1

Mind Telly

27 February 2013

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Mind Telly

Flooding the world with my mindful words, pick up the torch that I hold so dear. Opening up the minds of many, let them come in and watch my mind telly. So many shows going on in my mind, I can't show them all as it wouldn't be kind. Just speaking like this, I rarely give up, I'm focussing now, as I fill up your cup. The images flow as you throw in the towel, it's not time to quite, nor the time to cry foul. Open the broadcast as I have arrived, I'm talking abuse on the...

Comments: 0

The Edge

26 February 2013

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The edge of sanity

Shall I travell to London to ask number 10, why they are making us ill again!   I'm disabled and struggle to see the why, your just picking on me, and making me cry, out with the truth, is it just me annoys ya, or is this a touch of the old paranoia?   Ask me straight what I'd like you to do. I've got some ideas I can put to you. So open your door and let me through. How about I cut off your feet, and send you to work for just a few weeks? Or how about we chop of your...

Comments: 0

Connection

24 February 2013

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Missing connection

Mr C we're disabled, it don't change over night.
When you push us too much then our tempers ignite.
I'll just phone you up when I'm having a moment
and explain why I'm like this ... where's my missing component?
I wish I had your position, cause I'd make some changes with YOUR connections,
instead of letting you push in the wrong direction.

Comments: 0