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My name's Bonk and I love to write, when my brain hurts and gets too tight! I am bi-polar please don't be scared… don't run… just listen, as I get prepared. Open your eyes… I hope you enjoy my thoughts. And so I'll begin with a poem or some daily reports.

More sedation ...

21 March 2013

Blog

Bonk in a hypo

When you get above your station, you start to look at more sedation ... I tell you, I know the mental health system better than most. And I can confirm that it feels like a second class NHS when you're in there as a patient. Staff speak to you as if you're a child, and if you dare answer back, then they will often punish you by ignoring you for the rest of the day. They rarely believe anything you say, and ironically the only time that you do get any attention from them is when you...

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Hallucinations

17 March 2013

Blog

trick of the light?

I remember a time I was in Dartford Unit, floating about in the corridors, late on my first night. I looked down the dark corridor from the nurses station where I'd been annoying a young nurse who was trying to read her book. I'd interupt her every few moments; well, fair play, they wouldn't let me go home! So, this dark corridor, doors either side with patients enjoying their medicated sleep. I looked towards the glass fire door at the very end and saw an old man with a stick, the...

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Up and down

17 March 2013

Blog

Up and down

Remember ... mood swings can go up, as well as down!

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At the gates

11 March 2013

Blog

Funny Farm gates

It's easy to smile when life feels so good, when I'm feeling so positive and out of the woods. But when mood starts to swing and I'm down on my knees, forgetting the answers, my mind starts to tease. And I cannot remember just how to regain, those feelings of happiness, removed far from pain. Remembering those who can help you keep calm, and how they can help you stay safe, far from harm. They're there but are hidden, I've put them away, when I go into darkness, nothing...

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Bonding

9 March 2013

Blog

Happy sun

Today was refreshing, the sun was alight, my mood opened up and my day did ignite. I opened the windows and let in the air, filling the room with the sun's magic glare. I ventured outside and filled up my lungs, and started to plan, no more speaking in tongues. People alive, and smiling their way, time just to talk and exchanging good day. Bonding with children, and especially my son, becoming so close we are thinking as one. We discuss life and challenges, find where to begin, finding...

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D.A.N.G.E.R

7 March 2013

Blog

Red warning triangle

A clear and present DANGER. Danger Mr Cameron, you should be aware, as your cuts take affect, and push us to dispair. And the route you have opened is not well planned. Are you prepared for the blood that'll cover your hands? Not bothered are you; as you make up the numbers, picking on the sick and disabled to cover up your blunders? Gather your Tories and tell them this, your scaring us all, not just taking the piss. Either way when you take your actions, it'll soon be obvious that...

Comments: 2

Masquerade

4 March 2013

Blog

Bonk in a mask

Decide what I want, then I change again, too many different things, not one skill to retain. A jack of all trades, master of none, hundreds of ideas flow through, then are gone. Ebbing and flowing unable to swim, the cold dark water seeps into my skin. I want to be a genius but am more a buffoon, too stupid by half to dance to that tune. Trying hard to be perfect because it feels right, can't attain my ideals so it's all smashed in spite. There's a demon in there I think can I...

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Not me in the mirror

1 March 2013

Blog

Mirror

I'm feeling really down today, I could just up and walk away; the drugs just make me waste the day. I felt fine years ago I think, but all that changed inside a blink. I’m floating then I start to sink, do I think too much or just think I think? Am I me and does anyone care, if I even breath their air, or are they just all saying yeah, then forgetting I was ever there? Much of today is wasted again, my watered down life is full of pain, mentally and physically I take the strain, of a...

Comments: 1