“Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.” Adele.
As I sit here I'm thinking about the World that we live in. It is 11.12 am and I have just got up having not gone to bed until 4am last night.
I wasn’t thinking about anything major last night, I just forgot to take my tablets, and so, naturally, as always happens when I do that, I didn’t sleep much.
Once I got to sleep, funnily enough, I slept really well. I watched the Madonna interview about her #secretprojectrevolution and didn’t think much about it in my sleep at all.
As soon as I woke up, I find myself thinking about it. Thinking about the 87 people that were arrested because they ‘looked gay’ at one of her concerts in Russia. Thinking about the people that booed her in France when she was making a statement about tolerance and how difficult it is being Muslim in a different country. Thinking about what she had to say about all this.
I don’t really protest, and never really have. I was stopped and searched by the police in London 1996 which caused a lot of issues for me. I now sit on my local police IAG group. I guess that’s how I protest. And by protest I mean try to understand what happens so the same thing doesn’t happen again to anyone else.
Oh yeah, and I wrote a show about it too. So that’s how I protest. With my writing. With characters. With words, spoken by actors.
I have a film idea that I think can be a real indictment on society in this country today. I haven’t really spoken to anyone about it because it’s about a deaf character and I’m still not sure what right I have to do that yet, even though I’m partially deaf. I’d like to work with certain people on it. I’d at least like to chat to them about it. I don't have any funding for it, but look at all the people that do stuff anyway.
But as I sit here writing this, and thinking about how the World is getting more and more conservative, less and less tolerant of others, more and more difficult to live in, and less and less bearable to be a genuine human being in, I think about the more than 10,000 people who’ve died during the great cull of the disabled people. By the government that doesn’t give a shit about rights anymore.
I think about these things because I’m a human being. I want to make a statement about it because I’m an artist. I struggle with what that statement should be, and whether I have any right to make that statement at all because of the people around me, and the messages I hear from them.
But what makes it worse is the thought that other people could get into power who have even more extremist views than the current government.
As I sit writing this, I’m upset and thinking, wow, there must be something else wrong with me right now. I’m worried about other things, more personal things. The song I’m listening to is making me tearful.
But then I think, No. I’m worried about the world we live in. It genuinely scares me.
What scares me more is that if I don’t write, if I don’t work with people much braver than me, who are willing to put themselves out there, be on camera, use their voice, however they can, someone else might be able to come along in a few months time and tell me that I don’t have the right to do that anymore.
Madonna’s #secretprojectrevolution, a 17 minute film, can be seen here (containing violence):
And (perhaps a more revealing) interview about the film can be seen here:
Worth watching both.